twenty four, another six years before i hit the big three zero... damn...i'm in my mid twenties. how sad is that. a few things i need to have before i hit thirty. hmm.... i want a car, to own a place that i could call my own and maybe get hitched, and i said maybe.. 6 years is not that long. so if i stop partying now i could at least accomplish one thing. besides, i want a camera so i could camera whore when ever i feel like it. taking some hot hunk picture without them knowing or even taking the mabuks night pictures. ;)
thank you for those who turned up at laundry on friday even if it was for a short while.. i was flying high before 12.. we finished one bottle of vodka in an hour. shite.. i have always told myself that i would not mixed my drinks.. but obviously it never happens. and thanks for the birthday wishes and the amazing gifts i received. love the bag guys.. :p, thanks for the bracelet jo and bert..love the cute teddy i received from mark and luke... and not to forget the wine from sunil and kenneth.. the reason i was flying high before 12. and thanks for the smirnoff blue from the four wonderful people (jo,adrianne, bert and ju liang)
ps: the next time we have smirnoff blue, i think we should take it easy...
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
happy deepavali
last friday was my first time ever attending the kancil awards. one of the biggest event in the advertising industry. it was a great experience. if i am ever attending the next awards i am not wearing a dress. haha...kinda feel naked under the skirt. :p
anyways, i am so addicted to facebook. more likely fighters club. damnit. it is as if my entire life at the moment is evolving around it. i am on fc in the office, when i'm home even after getting drunk i would log into it to check my fights. there's something really wrong with me.. i am so in need to get a hobby....:) but i am enjoying the fights. i lost my 2nd fight yesterday... it was more like my 1st fight la... not including sunil.. cause that was just a big bully... sorry kor. got to know many people due to it. great people.. meet a few of them recently and partied together.. hope to meet the rest soon.
it is deepavali today.. so happy deepavali to all my friends celebrating it. don't get drunk too early..
anyways, i am so addicted to facebook. more likely fighters club. damnit. it is as if my entire life at the moment is evolving around it. i am on fc in the office, when i'm home even after getting drunk i would log into it to check my fights. there's something really wrong with me.. i am so in need to get a hobby....:) but i am enjoying the fights. i lost my 2nd fight yesterday... it was more like my 1st fight la... not including sunil.. cause that was just a big bully... sorry kor. got to know many people due to it. great people.. meet a few of them recently and partied together.. hope to meet the rest soon.
it is deepavali today.. so happy deepavali to all my friends celebrating it. don't get drunk too early..
Thursday, October 04, 2007
pluto
drugs is a substance that has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body, in particular • a medicine, esp. a pharmaceutical preparation.
drugs as we all know it is illegal. wtf! cause all our medicines are in a way drugs. ok i am getting lame here. i am talking about marijuana, ecstasy, meth, cocaine and heroin. governments all around the world are trying to curb drugs. busting the dealers, confiscating their stash. what actually happens to the stash that they confiscated? do they actually throw it away or better well burned it? no they don't. they take and sell it back to the dealers. not the small mouse but the bigger rats. and they are busting every single soul taking it. and they say they are trying to clean our streets from it. come on... who are they kidding?
worst yet, why ban marijuana? amongst all the drugs around isn't marijuana a safer drug? it is a downer drug just like alcohol. it only makes people slower and at times stupid. big freaking deal. marijuana has less impact on ones brain cells than any other freaking drugs. it doesn't give one a brain cancer or rot ones teeth. guess what? it doesn't even make one hallucinate nor make one became aggressive.
and if you are a mary jane smoker you would be easily busted because they could detect the fucking thc. and the fuckers that are doing ecstasy gets away with it? they could at least make marijuana legal and illegal at the same time. guess they won't be making much money after that. it's not like cocaine, heroin nor meth whereby you either snort it or inject it to your damn veins. and besides weed is natural not chemically produced. hell, marijuana is even safer than fucking cigarettes.
drugs as we all know it is illegal. wtf! cause all our medicines are in a way drugs. ok i am getting lame here. i am talking about marijuana, ecstasy, meth, cocaine and heroin. governments all around the world are trying to curb drugs. busting the dealers, confiscating their stash. what actually happens to the stash that they confiscated? do they actually throw it away or better well burned it? no they don't. they take and sell it back to the dealers. not the small mouse but the bigger rats. and they are busting every single soul taking it. and they say they are trying to clean our streets from it. come on... who are they kidding?
worst yet, why ban marijuana? amongst all the drugs around isn't marijuana a safer drug? it is a downer drug just like alcohol. it only makes people slower and at times stupid. big freaking deal. marijuana has less impact on ones brain cells than any other freaking drugs. it doesn't give one a brain cancer or rot ones teeth. guess what? it doesn't even make one hallucinate nor make one became aggressive.
and if you are a mary jane smoker you would be easily busted because they could detect the fucking thc. and the fuckers that are doing ecstasy gets away with it? they could at least make marijuana legal and illegal at the same time. guess they won't be making much money after that. it's not like cocaine, heroin nor meth whereby you either snort it or inject it to your damn veins. and besides weed is natural not chemically produced. hell, marijuana is even safer than fucking cigarettes.
Monday, October 01, 2007
blues
my flight to bali was scheduled to leave kl at 10.55 am. and by lunchtime we would be in bali and checked in to our room. i would have enjoyed the fresh smell of the clean white sheets on the bed, the soft pillows, the robes and the view (if they had any). i could have enjoyed the getaway at the beach for awhile. coming back with a tan. not like i really need one. i could be sipping cocktails by the poolside with a book, going shopping, to feel the sands between my toes but instead i am here. sigh. when everything one have planned and saved, and somehow somethings would come in the way and washes all the hopes and dreams. that's exactly what happened to me. i have the time, but i am poor at this point of time. goddammit.
it was shahir's birthday last friday. we had a small party for him at my place. unfortunately, the guests that came were not his friends but mostly del's cousins. poor ol' shahir.. but at least i managed to get the things he wanted to do like smoke shisha and... even though he was the birthday boy, he was the charcoal guy too. and after all the party we went to watch team america! we feel asleep in the middle of the movie while del continued watching it.
as usual tumpang glamour on others
saturday was very much a lazy day. we went to ttdi plaza. it has been awhile for us hanging out with the guys. it was felt good in a way meeting up with close friends that we haven't seen in months but seems like ages.
it was shahir's birthday last friday. we had a small party for him at my place. unfortunately, the guests that came were not his friends but mostly del's cousins. poor ol' shahir.. but at least i managed to get the things he wanted to do like smoke shisha and... even though he was the birthday boy, he was the charcoal guy too. and after all the party we went to watch team america! we feel asleep in the middle of the movie while del continued watching it.
as usual tumpang glamour on others
saturday was very much a lazy day. we went to ttdi plaza. it has been awhile for us hanging out with the guys. it was felt good in a way meeting up with close friends that we haven't seen in months but seems like ages.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
hmmm
it seems as if time is ssssllloooowwwllllyyy passing by. i have no idea why. but everytime i looked at the clock it only moved the max was 15 minutes. sigh.. maybe because i didn't go out for lunch today. hmmm...
it's not that i was free. i had a quite a few things to do and yet it feels as if time is at it's stand still point. moving as slow as it could. trying to torture my mind thinking oh my goodness, i have to be in the office till dunno what time. till humpty dumpty picks me up to buka puasa. it's such a torture. i really need to get out of the office at 6. oh ya i forgot it's the puasa month. all the poor souls rushing to their food destination. it's not an easy task. traffic is a killer, i think. and everyday i am going home about 8 plus. hoping to beat the jam. no idea why i have to stay that late for.
i bet the night would pass by in a flash making me to think what the hell just happen. oh well. what to do. i am bored. everyone has left me. sob sob... thank goodness ashley will be back tomorrow. yippie. ok....ok. it's not like i am dying of boredom. the bright side i have bert, alex and ben. :p
it's not that i was free. i had a quite a few things to do and yet it feels as if time is at it's stand still point. moving as slow as it could. trying to torture my mind thinking oh my goodness, i have to be in the office till dunno what time. till humpty dumpty picks me up to buka puasa. it's such a torture. i really need to get out of the office at 6. oh ya i forgot it's the puasa month. all the poor souls rushing to their food destination. it's not an easy task. traffic is a killer, i think. and everyday i am going home about 8 plus. hoping to beat the jam. no idea why i have to stay that late for.
i bet the night would pass by in a flash making me to think what the hell just happen. oh well. what to do. i am bored. everyone has left me. sob sob... thank goodness ashley will be back tomorrow. yippie. ok....ok. it's not like i am dying of boredom. the bright side i have bert, alex and ben. :p
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
who died and made you boss
i am a woman with little patience. it does not take much to irritate me. i have never met anyone in my life like TRIPLE B (a nickname i thought of). but i guess in life there's one like him everywhere you turn. for a big man, he has a short man's syndrome. it's not surprising for me that he had that syndrome la. he seems like a very insecure person, lack of sex could be the answer. i like him but at the same time i don't. i have no emotions for him, none what-so-ever. i could care less.
i thought maybe i was the one with the problem i had with him. so time and time again i gave him the benefit of doubts. and all the time he has proven to me as a person that he's just a triple b. in fact i've written a long long post and published it up but i've decided to change it. i don't really care if he actually knows that i am talking about him. i'll be glad if he did. my dilemma with him when we're doing one job. we didn't have much cash to be thrown around so we decided certain things.so we had to make do with what we have.
but being a TRIPLE B, he needed to make us grumpy at wee hours in the morning. fortunately for him, i was not there when all the dramas and commotion was going on. because i would have given him a piece of my mind. fucking short man syndrome. i only knew about the commotion when we reached the location. the drama was in a way about me and about the hierarchy. the irony of it all, i was not heated up with anger nor was i hurt. i was just upset because i knew where i stood in the hierarchy. so i've decided, that if he ever would wrongly cross my path that day then let us all pray cause all hell would break lose. my mind was working. working wonders for the possibility of what would i say when the time comes and all the answers and options that would back me up. so i had all the battle moves in my head. i was a mile ahead than he was. it was like a chess game in my head. i could read his every move and i knew his strategy.
the day went by fine, beside him yelling for certain things and made a fool of himself. and i tried to stay away from him whenever i could. i was not bitchy to him, i just had no emotions. but i did made some remarks around him and i made sure damn well that he could hear me. if he didn't get it then he must be empty up there. and when our shoot ended, the dilemma of sending triple b back. but i for one didn't want to be in the same van with him. so i called the other to come back to the location. i just didn't want to be infected by his short man syndrome.
working with idiots are hazardous.
i thought maybe i was the one with the problem i had with him. so time and time again i gave him the benefit of doubts. and all the time he has proven to me as a person that he's just a triple b. in fact i've written a long long post and published it up but i've decided to change it. i don't really care if he actually knows that i am talking about him. i'll be glad if he did. my dilemma with him when we're doing one job. we didn't have much cash to be thrown around so we decided certain things.so we had to make do with what we have.
but being a TRIPLE B, he needed to make us grumpy at wee hours in the morning. fortunately for him, i was not there when all the dramas and commotion was going on. because i would have given him a piece of my mind. fucking short man syndrome. i only knew about the commotion when we reached the location. the drama was in a way about me and about the hierarchy. the irony of it all, i was not heated up with anger nor was i hurt. i was just upset because i knew where i stood in the hierarchy. so i've decided, that if he ever would wrongly cross my path that day then let us all pray cause all hell would break lose. my mind was working. working wonders for the possibility of what would i say when the time comes and all the answers and options that would back me up. so i had all the battle moves in my head. i was a mile ahead than he was. it was like a chess game in my head. i could read his every move and i knew his strategy.
the day went by fine, beside him yelling for certain things and made a fool of himself. and i tried to stay away from him whenever i could. i was not bitchy to him, i just had no emotions. but i did made some remarks around him and i made sure damn well that he could hear me. if he didn't get it then he must be empty up there. and when our shoot ended, the dilemma of sending triple b back. but i for one didn't want to be in the same van with him. so i called the other to come back to the location. i just didn't want to be infected by his short man syndrome.
working with idiots are hazardous.
Friday, August 17, 2007
it's approximately 5.45am on a friday morning. and yet, three musketeers jelly bean, bananarama and ms grumps are still in the pathetic slave driving hell hole. welcome to our life of nothingness and boredom. while awaiting for bananarama to finish editing her talents, ms grumps have played a game of jigsaw puzzle online, surfed friendster, facebook and nothing else to be surfed anymore. and as for jelly bean, she can't stop cleaning the office, as if she as a wriggly worm stuck up her bum.. :)
their internal meeting on friday is at 12.30pm. and they are still in the office. guess there won't be any sleep tonight for them. :s
their internal meeting on friday is at 12.30pm. and they are still in the office. guess there won't be any sleep tonight for them. :s
please press one
it's 3 am and we're still in the office. it has been quite a havoc day. it was totally crowded earlier with talents everywhere lingering in the office and the non-stop phone calls asking for the goddamn directions. despite giving them the directions, some could even drive all the way to bandar utama instead to damansara heights! unbelievable. at times i wonder what the hell were they thinking. sigh. it's so frustrating answering calls especially when there's casting in the office. argh. i wish we had an answering machine that goes :
hello.. welcome to film base... unfortunately all of our operators are busy at the moment. if you're looking for directions please press 1. please choose the destination that you're coming from.
press 1: if you're coming from bandar utama or NKVE
press 2: if you're coming from LDP
press 3: if you're coming from KL
press 4 : if you're coming from bangsar
and if you're at none of the destination above you could either drive all the way to one of the destination mentioned or if you don't like it you can fuck off. thank you for calling.
che wah. how i wish we could say that. hahaha. they came in for casting, maybe bringing their brains along but some left their eyes at home. asking questions 'where is the form'. harlow. it's on the coffee table. LOOK FOR IT. maybe they were blinded with the shades that they were wearing, mind you in the office. people, posers..maybe we could post 'please do not disturb film base employees with your petty, unnecessary questions.'
something to brighten our day. this could be photoshop already. who cares. i don't. do you? even if you did care, i don't give two shites.
hello.. welcome to film base... unfortunately all of our operators are busy at the moment. if you're looking for directions please press 1. please choose the destination that you're coming from.
press 1: if you're coming from bandar utama or NKVE
press 2: if you're coming from LDP
press 3: if you're coming from KL
press 4 : if you're coming from bangsar
and if you're at none of the destination above you could either drive all the way to one of the destination mentioned or if you don't like it you can fuck off. thank you for calling.
che wah. how i wish we could say that. hahaha. they came in for casting, maybe bringing their brains along but some left their eyes at home. asking questions 'where is the form'. harlow. it's on the coffee table. LOOK FOR IT. maybe they were blinded with the shades that they were wearing, mind you in the office. people, posers..maybe we could post 'please do not disturb film base employees with your petty, unnecessary questions.'
something to brighten our day. this could be photoshop already. who cares. i don't. do you? even if you did care, i don't give two shites.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
the way i are
i have never realized about the way i am, or my habit. especially not about the way i eat until my colleagues actually pointed it out today. it is strangely funny. it was all about me finishing my lunch first for the first time before them. i have never noticed it. about the way i eat or how i ate it more over how long it took me to finish my food. and they were imitating the way i eat. hahaha. it was funny. i couldn't stop laughing. to think about it, it is true. they would all be done with their food and not me. i am a slow eater. i don't know if it is a good or a bad thing.
they said that i eat slower than the average people and that i tend to separate my food all together even when i am eating the packed nasi lemak. didn't thought of it much when i was doing it. but it's weird when they could imitate the way i eat. hahaha. i need to get a second or more like a fourth opinion, since there was three of them during lunch commenting about the way i eat. i have this thing about food. i love food. so it was so unfair that i have low metabolic rate while others have it high.
i have seen people eating and some of them are quite disgusting. i saw someone when i was young, he/she had food in the mouth and yet i could see them gobbling down another spoonful of food when in fact they have not even swallowed the food that was in their mouth. gosh they just gobbled it up. another thing, i don't really like people chewing out loud, till the point you could hear the rhythm each time the food reaches in their mouth.
so maybe those are the reason why i chew and eat my food slowly. so that the person next to me can barely hear it. and also the fact that i don't like to be known as a lady with no or little table manners. i have always been that way. can't even remember when it started. i think it was due to my dad. he tolerates no such things and was strict when it came to table manners.
they said that i eat slower than the average people and that i tend to separate my food all together even when i am eating the packed nasi lemak. didn't thought of it much when i was doing it. but it's weird when they could imitate the way i eat. hahaha. i need to get a second or more like a fourth opinion, since there was three of them during lunch commenting about the way i eat. i have this thing about food. i love food. so it was so unfair that i have low metabolic rate while others have it high.
i have seen people eating and some of them are quite disgusting. i saw someone when i was young, he/she had food in the mouth and yet i could see them gobbling down another spoonful of food when in fact they have not even swallowed the food that was in their mouth. gosh they just gobbled it up. another thing, i don't really like people chewing out loud, till the point you could hear the rhythm each time the food reaches in their mouth.
so maybe those are the reason why i chew and eat my food slowly. so that the person next to me can barely hear it. and also the fact that i don't like to be known as a lady with no or little table manners. i have always been that way. can't even remember when it started. i think it was due to my dad. he tolerates no such things and was strict when it came to table manners.
Monday, July 30, 2007
a break
monday all over again. thank goodness for the weekend getaway. even though it was only a road trip to seremban. it was peaceful but it could be a little boring at times when there's nothing else to do. all we did was drink, watch movies, gamble, eat and eat. :p. to live in a place whereby civilization is at it's limits can be boring. hahah. but it was all good. felt really good getting away from the normal routine, the city and also the people. would be great if we could have stayed a lil more longer and just laze around the house.
a break much needed by me, i think. to be able to be absolutely lazy and not worry about where should we go next and what should we do or anything else. much like my other weekends but being away from the city feels great. with the moon shinning bright and the stars looking like sparkling diamonds in the sky. awh, so dramatic.
and now i'm back to work. back to slavery day in and day out. how i wish i could just sit back and relax and watch the world go at it. unfortunately, sold my poor little soul to work.
a break much needed by me, i think. to be able to be absolutely lazy and not worry about where should we go next and what should we do or anything else. much like my other weekends but being away from the city feels great. with the moon shinning bright and the stars looking like sparkling diamonds in the sky. awh, so dramatic.
and now i'm back to work. back to slavery day in and day out. how i wish i could just sit back and relax and watch the world go at it. unfortunately, sold my poor little soul to work.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
show me the money
when i was young i couldn't wait to be an adult and to earn my own living. and now i am an adult and earning my own living but it seems to be not enough. with everything going up in price and our pay is at it's stand still point. i am not regretting to be an adult. i love it. it's part of a parcel of life. i wouldn't want to be still living under my parents’ money. how weird would that be.
i've always had some savings in my bank. until recently. as if now you see it and the next day you don't; like chipsmore cookies. i had to pay my insurance that was way, way over due. i owe them like a lil over than a thousand. not to forget that i have to pay the damn loan for my education. argh. with the money that i am getting, surviving is just fine. but wanting to save is another problem.
i am trying my best to save. and now taking up driving classes is one of the factor my cash flow is running low. i don't shop often. only once in awhile. but i guess the money goes to the drinking habits, which i've tried to curb as much as i can. i don't go out as often anymore. and yet i still could visualize my money flying away. i don't know why. maybe it's the food. i am very picky person when it comes to food. i don't know. it's tiring to think about it.
i have so many things to get. i need to get a car, i need to get myself a camera, i want a laptop. argh. so frustrating. and something have to give in order to get something. that means it would be a long while before i could afford to get something i really need or want.
at times i wish i was born wealthy. where i do not need to worry about money. or how i am going to pay this and that. or maybe i should just starve myself.
i've always had some savings in my bank. until recently. as if now you see it and the next day you don't; like chipsmore cookies. i had to pay my insurance that was way, way over due. i owe them like a lil over than a thousand. not to forget that i have to pay the damn loan for my education. argh. with the money that i am getting, surviving is just fine. but wanting to save is another problem.
i am trying my best to save. and now taking up driving classes is one of the factor my cash flow is running low. i don't shop often. only once in awhile. but i guess the money goes to the drinking habits, which i've tried to curb as much as i can. i don't go out as often anymore. and yet i still could visualize my money flying away. i don't know why. maybe it's the food. i am very picky person when it comes to food. i don't know. it's tiring to think about it.
i have so many things to get. i need to get a car, i need to get myself a camera, i want a laptop. argh. so frustrating. and something have to give in order to get something. that means it would be a long while before i could afford to get something i really need or want.
at times i wish i was born wealthy. where i do not need to worry about money. or how i am going to pay this and that. or maybe i should just starve myself.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
s.i.c.k
it seems as if my energy is being drawn out. feeling absolutely drained out. it seems as if something is taking my energy out of my body. i feel tired and incapable of doing anything.
my nose is itching, not because i'm lack of smoke simply because i am sick. i feel as if i can't breath. i can't stop sneezing. i can't seem to concentrate. i hate being sick. hate being unable to think without the nagging buzz in my brain.
my head is spinning. i feel as if my brain would explode anytime soon. that the veins in my head would pop out at any given time. the nagging buzz can't seems to stop neither it seems to slow down. it is at it's constant speed. a beat per second i think.
can't seem to put my sentence in the perfect nor in it's correct order. who cares. i don't think i do at this point of time.
i wish i could be home at this moment. lying in the comfort bed of mine, in the freezing room that would just make me sleep and forget about everything. but with the rate i'm going now, it will probably take me awhile to snooze off. if only....
my nose is itching, not because i'm lack of smoke simply because i am sick. i feel as if i can't breath. i can't stop sneezing. i can't seem to concentrate. i hate being sick. hate being unable to think without the nagging buzz in my brain.
my head is spinning. i feel as if my brain would explode anytime soon. that the veins in my head would pop out at any given time. the nagging buzz can't seems to stop neither it seems to slow down. it is at it's constant speed. a beat per second i think.
can't seem to put my sentence in the perfect nor in it's correct order. who cares. i don't think i do at this point of time.
i wish i could be home at this moment. lying in the comfort bed of mine, in the freezing room that would just make me sleep and forget about everything. but with the rate i'm going now, it will probably take me awhile to snooze off. if only....
Saturday, July 14, 2007
mickey mouse undies
have you ever wonder about the people around you? have you ever given them many benefits of doubt that in the end you feel that the only person you’re kidding is yourself. i know I have those thoughts in mind. and till this date i have written many things on it but never once posted it up. maybe because I just didn’t want to hurt their feelings or just maybe i treasure their friendship until now. one thing i knew for certain was that because i didn't want to stoop down to their level. but looking back at it now, i really don’t give two fucks about it anymore. why should I? why should i be nice when i can be mean.
there are many things i don't get it with human. i know someone that does not like a person but yet hangs out with them. goes to their house, drink from their alcohol bottle and has slept in the person house before. maybe the someone is a friend with someone and that's the reason. but i think that someone is after all a user and a cheap person. if they didn't like that person then stop wearing the masks because most of us don't care. it is so hilarious to think that human in general are a smart creature. they are created with a brain but there are many of them out there that do not use them. it said that a human only uses about 10% of their brain capability. what happened to the other 90%? i am not saying that i am smart cause i am not. then again, stand up for your damn ground la. what the hell. if you think you are right stand up for it cause no one gives a shit. you can't take criticism but you could give yours.
i know someone who would just want to go to a free flow or to some party just for the sake of free booze. but come on. you are not students anymore. doesn't it embarrass you in some ways. the facts that you can’t even buy yourself a drink. i know i do. if you're broke and there are friends that would help that's good. but if the excuse is that because it is free booze then it is just lame. in a way you are just a user who would love to take advantage of those who are nice.
there are many things i don't get it with human. i know someone that does not like a person but yet hangs out with them. goes to their house, drink from their alcohol bottle and has slept in the person house before. maybe the someone is a friend with someone and that's the reason. but i think that someone is after all a user and a cheap person. if they didn't like that person then stop wearing the masks because most of us don't care. it is so hilarious to think that human in general are a smart creature. they are created with a brain but there are many of them out there that do not use them. it said that a human only uses about 10% of their brain capability. what happened to the other 90%? i am not saying that i am smart cause i am not. then again, stand up for your damn ground la. what the hell. if you think you are right stand up for it cause no one gives a shit. you can't take criticism but you could give yours.
i know someone who would just want to go to a free flow or to some party just for the sake of free booze. but come on. you are not students anymore. doesn't it embarrass you in some ways. the facts that you can’t even buy yourself a drink. i know i do. if you're broke and there are friends that would help that's good. but if the excuse is that because it is free booze then it is just lame. in a way you are just a user who would love to take advantage of those who are nice.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
to a place
i wish i could just run away. to a place where i don't know anyone and to a place where no one i know could find me. to run away from the routine that i do day in and day out. i want to run away to a place where it is sunny and yet breezy. . to be able to walk on the sandy beach. to be able to read a book on the beach in my bikini with my shades on under a palm tree and a cocktail by my side. and maybe fall asleep under the bright shinning moon and stars in the silence of the night.
i want to live my life for my own and stop living my life for someone else. to do what i want and when i want to. to stop thinking of the consequences, just for once. to stop thinking the what if's and the maybes. to run away from all the emotions. i want to run away from all the responsibilities. to run away from the people that i care about. i just want to be alone. it sound sad doesn't it. but i value my time on my own. which i don't get much.i want to be able to think without the bustling sounds of voices or traffics. i want to run away from civilization. i want to run away from being disappointed.
i want to turn away from friends that i don't need. to turn to those that does not know the meaning of trust and confidential away. to turn away those who are not they seem to be. to be able to run them down with a monster truck over and over again, just to make sure that they are dead or barely surviving. :D ...... they don't deserve to live. but who am i to judge. that's just a dream.
i want to live my life for my own and stop living my life for someone else. to do what i want and when i want to. to stop thinking of the consequences, just for once. to stop thinking the what if's and the maybes. to run away from all the emotions. i want to run away from all the responsibilities. to run away from the people that i care about. i just want to be alone. it sound sad doesn't it. but i value my time on my own. which i don't get much.i want to be able to think without the bustling sounds of voices or traffics. i want to run away from civilization. i want to run away from being disappointed.
i want to turn away from friends that i don't need. to turn to those that does not know the meaning of trust and confidential away. to turn away those who are not they seem to be. to be able to run them down with a monster truck over and over again, just to make sure that they are dead or barely surviving. :D ...... they don't deserve to live. but who am i to judge. that's just a dream.
Friday, June 15, 2007
coming undone
emotions : noun a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one's circumstances, mood, or relationships with others • any of the particular feelings that characterize such a state of mind, such as joy, anger, love, hate, horror, etc. • instinctive or intuitive feeling as distinguished from reasoning or knowledge : responses have to be based on historical insight, not simply on emotion.
i am facing my emotions, emotions of hurt, anger and guilt. i am sick of being hurt. sick of feeling guilty. sick and tired thinking that it was a small problem. but soon realized that it just grew bigger and bigger. sick and tired thinking that maybe i was the one to be blamed. sick and tired of taking the blame. sick and tired of all these emotions. couldn't they just leave me alone just for awhile. sick of wondering the 'what ifs', the 'maybes' and the indefinite possiblities that may lie. and just maybe things would be different. when something happens, the next day i feel butterflies of guilt gushing in my tummy.
sick and tired of thinking if i could just change a little bit and then the maybes arrives. sick of evaluating life as it seems.
complicated as ever. decisions that could not be made. options that could not be taken. everything happens for a reason. but what is the reason. i am sick and tired thinking and believing that what i have now is what i actually want. sick of thinking of losing someone dear to me. what should i do. there are options and decisions. am i strong enough to be take the first step. and look at things from out of the box. maybe i am the one to be blame. but everyone needs to play a part and take the blame to. sick and tired of thinking if i could do it better. sick being the one that has to apologise most of the time. sick of being scared. sick and tired of hating.
sick and tired being taken for granted. sick and tired of trying. sick and tired giving. sick and tired of talking. sick and tired of wanting. sick and tired of being irritated. sick and tired of being the bad person.
sick and tired of everything.
i am facing my emotions, emotions of hurt, anger and guilt. i am sick of being hurt. sick of feeling guilty. sick and tired thinking that it was a small problem. but soon realized that it just grew bigger and bigger. sick and tired thinking that maybe i was the one to be blamed. sick and tired of taking the blame. sick and tired of all these emotions. couldn't they just leave me alone just for awhile. sick of wondering the 'what ifs', the 'maybes' and the indefinite possiblities that may lie. and just maybe things would be different. when something happens, the next day i feel butterflies of guilt gushing in my tummy.
sick and tired of thinking if i could just change a little bit and then the maybes arrives. sick of evaluating life as it seems.
complicated as ever. decisions that could not be made. options that could not be taken. everything happens for a reason. but what is the reason. i am sick and tired thinking and believing that what i have now is what i actually want. sick of thinking of losing someone dear to me. what should i do. there are options and decisions. am i strong enough to be take the first step. and look at things from out of the box. maybe i am the one to be blame. but everyone needs to play a part and take the blame to. sick and tired of thinking if i could do it better. sick being the one that has to apologise most of the time. sick of being scared. sick and tired of hating.
sick and tired being taken for granted. sick and tired of trying. sick and tired giving. sick and tired of talking. sick and tired of wanting. sick and tired of being irritated. sick and tired of being the bad person.
sick and tired of everything.
Monday, June 11, 2007
hayden lee
After months of endless waiting he finally decided to come out to the world. Isn't he just so adorable. Cute BUT not ugly mind you. My best friend son. Hayden Lee Fu Sen his name is. Born on 22nd May 2007. I was just lazy to blog about it earlier.. And I'm an aunty already. sigh. STOP MAKING ME FEEL OLD, IAN LEE!!! hahahaha... I heard that Hayden's bigger than he was when I first saw him.. Can't wait to see him again... It took me awhile to get used to Ian being a husband and now he's a freaking dad. sigh. can you still party with me? hahhaahah.
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
things we do on shoot
this was my first time doing a baby commercial and also shooting in a studio. i knew that studio shoots can be boring. all we did was eat, eat and eat.
some was staring into space, one was reading, and the others were trying to look busy........
some of us snoozed away....
while some of us were busy working......
mi manchi?
some was staring into space, one was reading, and the others were trying to look busy........
some of us snoozed away....
while some of us were busy working......
mi manchi?
Monday, April 23, 2007
good charlotte
at last i was able to score tickets for the good charlotte concert thanks to mabel.. you're a doll. and thank goodness for shahir aka sir ferhad. he was kind enough to get becky and i and followed us to the concert. the sad part was, there were too many kids. like hello. isn't it passed their bedtime already? and there was this guy, he was jumping while holding to his ass. hello. is he afraid that his ass are gonna drop? wtf la. and as usual sir ferhad was hungry. luckily there was food there. if not i would not hear the end of it. hahahhaha..
it was worth going.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
m r . h o g g e r
this particular post is dedicated to mr shahir reza ali. omg. he is a the shisha hogger. he doesn't like sharing shisha with anyone! so irritating la. and worst still when he's stone! hates sharing it with anyone! what a loser. so greedy. we were hanging out at the pool side. he's the only one that was in his own world. started splashing the freaking pool water on me. and the best part he almost, goddamn almost fell into the pool. why didn't he fall. it would have been so freaking great. if he did, we would be laughing our guts out. hahahah.
doesn't he look like an al-qaeda terrorist?
told you i was going to post it up. you're lucky i didn't post the movie up. hahahahha.. fur? what the hell. instead of hair he said fur.
doesn't he look like an al-qaeda terrorist?
told you i was going to post it up. you're lucky i didn't post the movie up. hahahahha.. fur? what the hell. instead of hair he said fur.
Friday, April 13, 2007
i t c h
have you ever had an itch that you really, i mean really need to scratch. i know i've experienced it before, that it is so frakking annoying. it is annoying because part of you don't really want to scratch it. *have no idea if frakking is a word. but who cares i like the way it sounds. ok, going back to the frakking topic*. but yet the little voice in your head says go ahead man. there's nothing to lose. but after scratching that frakking itch you realize that it is all not worth it. either it sucks or you would just end up feeling guilty for scratching it or you might think that it is not worth the frak. or you could find it amusing or good. arggghhh. so complicated la. and you wonder why the frakking hell you've put yourself into. and yet somehow you've already know the answers but the neurons in your poor pathetic brain could not register the freaking data. 'ah gawd, what's happening.'
was it worth it scratching the poor little itch that you have? i have no frakking idea. maybe. but was all of it worth it? nah, i don't think so. it was not worth a freaking frak. sigh. life. double sigh. the things we put ourselves through. why oh why. as you grow older you might want to think that you are wiser than before but the truth we're not. we're just getting wiser due the experiences that we went through. and what we know today was important for all the decisions that you've made in the past. but yet, if you could turn back time, would you go on scratching that particular itch or would you say no?
each frakking decisions that we've made in the past, made us what we are today. good or bad. something that would make us look back and go 'awh gawd, damn it. shite'.
was it worth it scratching the poor little itch that you have? i have no frakking idea. maybe. but was all of it worth it? nah, i don't think so. it was not worth a freaking frak. sigh. life. double sigh. the things we put ourselves through. why oh why. as you grow older you might want to think that you are wiser than before but the truth we're not. we're just getting wiser due the experiences that we went through. and what we know today was important for all the decisions that you've made in the past. but yet, if you could turn back time, would you go on scratching that particular itch or would you say no?
each frakking decisions that we've made in the past, made us what we are today. good or bad. something that would make us look back and go 'awh gawd, damn it. shite'.
Friday, April 06, 2007
children of the 80's
We grew up watching
Transformers,Thundercats,
Woody the Woodpecker, Bugs
Bunny, Mickey Mouse, Captain Planet,
Barney and friends, Ninja Turtles,
Gummie Bears, Baja Hitam, Ultraman.
Remember we had to brush our teeths
during recess at primary school? had to
hold plastic
cups, line up with your classmates side
by side and start brushing our teeths
at some open area... or maybe near some
drain??
and sometimes there will be some nurses
teaching us the correct way to brush
our teeth....
do you still remember that we
had 'dentist' rooms where we had to
have our teeths check?
not to forget our 'program minum susu'
in primary school.. everybody is
suppose to buy like cartons of milk
that
costed 30 cents.. and you would see
everyone drinking it everyday...
and don't forget VITAGEN! we went crazy
for them.... i know i did.
the teachers who would want to punish
us must use yellow rulers to hit us on
our palms?? or cubit our stomach...
unfortunately for me i got smacked
on my back. sigh. and my mom
went to the principles
that a bowl of mihun soup or some soup
only costed 50 cents at the school
canteen...
went to some sundry shop near the
school or to the 'roti' man waiting
outside our schools so that we can buy
junk food like chickedees, mamee, ding
dang with some toys in it, 'Ti Kam',
ice-
cream and we would play games like
monopoly, uno, old maid, snap, happy
family and all other card games like
that...
another fun time would be during
Pendidikan Jasmani. the boys would
play football while the girls would
play
netball... and it would be like we were
playing in the world cup...
but of course. the best would be main
guli, batu seremban, bottlecaps, ice-
cream sticks, 'Pepsi Cola one-two-
three', Cops and Robbers, main kejar-
kejar duduk.. and for the not so
active,
those kind of 'book games' where we
would use buku latihan to draw and ask
our friends to play as in tick tack toe or
even hangman...
do you remember the ice-cream tubes
which are actually ice and colouring
that
are sold for 10 to 20 cents.. the
colourful ones..
where you usually bite off the
top to glup it down...
what about days when we felt like doing
naughty things such as folding papers
so small to make 'lastik' and shoot
each other... how about throwing
chalks??
back then, micheal jackson was just
turning white.. and still had albums
coming out.. compared to CD's, we were
listening to tapes that sold for
RM9.90...
in computer class, we were still using
black and white computer moniters..
played 'Atari'... maybe SEGA or
NINTENDO...
well, are we all getting older or what?
1) if you understand what you have read
and you are smiling...
2) we have friends from school that are
already married...
3) we shake our heads everytime we
see high school students fussing about
their handphones in school..
4) we don't hang on phone with our
friends for hours a day talking about
nothing...
5) when we meet back with our friends
from time to time, we feel excited and
happy talking about old times, the
funny 'adventures' or stories that we
experienced as a kid..
6) last but not least, that when you
read this, you would think of all the happy
& sad memories that you have
experienced when you were still a kid
this is so true. it reminds me of my childhood days.
those were the days when nothing mattered at all.
the days when we were more carefree.
Transformers,Thundercats,
Woody the Woodpecker, Bugs
Bunny, Mickey Mouse, Captain Planet,
Barney and friends, Ninja Turtles,
Gummie Bears, Baja Hitam, Ultraman.
Remember we had to brush our teeths
during recess at primary school? had to
hold plastic
cups, line up with your classmates side
by side and start brushing our teeths
at some open area... or maybe near some
drain??
and sometimes there will be some nurses
teaching us the correct way to brush
our teeth....
do you still remember that we
had 'dentist' rooms where we had to
have our teeths check?
not to forget our 'program minum susu'
in primary school.. everybody is
suppose to buy like cartons of milk
that
costed 30 cents.. and you would see
everyone drinking it everyday...
and don't forget VITAGEN! we went crazy
for them.... i know i did.
the teachers who would want to punish
us must use yellow rulers to hit us on
our palms?? or cubit our stomach...
unfortunately for me i got smacked
on my back. sigh. and my mom
went to the principles
that a bowl of mihun soup or some soup
only costed 50 cents at the school
canteen...
went to some sundry shop near the
school or to the 'roti' man waiting
outside our schools so that we can buy
junk food like chickedees, mamee, ding
dang with some toys in it, 'Ti Kam',
ice-
cream and we would play games like
monopoly, uno, old maid, snap, happy
family and all other card games like
that...
another fun time would be during
Pendidikan Jasmani. the boys would
play football while the girls would
play
netball... and it would be like we were
playing in the world cup...
but of course. the best would be main
guli, batu seremban, bottlecaps, ice-
cream sticks, 'Pepsi Cola one-two-
three', Cops and Robbers, main kejar-
kejar duduk.. and for the not so
active,
those kind of 'book games' where we
would use buku latihan to draw and ask
our friends to play as in tick tack toe or
even hangman...
do you remember the ice-cream tubes
which are actually ice and colouring
that
are sold for 10 to 20 cents.. the
colourful ones..
where you usually bite off the
top to glup it down...
what about days when we felt like doing
naughty things such as folding papers
so small to make 'lastik' and shoot
each other... how about throwing
chalks??
back then, micheal jackson was just
turning white.. and still had albums
coming out.. compared to CD's, we were
listening to tapes that sold for
RM9.90...
in computer class, we were still using
black and white computer moniters..
played 'Atari'... maybe SEGA or
NINTENDO...
well, are we all getting older or what?
1) if you understand what you have read
and you are smiling...
2) we have friends from school that are
already married...
3) we shake our heads everytime we
see high school students fussing about
their handphones in school..
4) we don't hang on phone with our
friends for hours a day talking about
nothing...
5) when we meet back with our friends
from time to time, we feel excited and
happy talking about old times, the
funny 'adventures' or stories that we
experienced as a kid..
6) last but not least, that when you
read this, you would think of all the happy
& sad memories that you have
experienced when you were still a kid
this is so true. it reminds me of my childhood days.
those were the days when nothing mattered at all.
the days when we were more carefree.
house & fashion
went to laundry last night with sabrina and her chicky babe friend. but it was so so so empty. the band sucks like hell. i couldn't even understand what the hell are they singing about. it was the most boring time i had there. the only thing that was worth while was meeting up with sab and also sheena and not forgetting disturbing the bartenders. not only is was boring, it closed at 1am. what the hell!! left there and went to cynna.
i understand the new fashions and all. but come on, who the f**k wears retro clothes with leggings to a freaking house club and better yet, dancing to the music? it is just so salah man. salah is an understatement for it. it is just plan horrendous. not trying to be mean and all but do you go to a rave with that? obviously no. if you are wearing jeans and all i do get it la. but leggings, and trying to dance and top of that trying to look high. i just don't get it. i am not saying that i have the best fashion sense. i don't really follow the fashion industry as it is just too much to bear. every single season there are new styles and more money to be wasted.
anways thanks babe and sunil for taking me out last night. and mr sunil vijayan, i am not an aunty ok. i've passed the phase to party in town anymore. but i do missed the times when i used to. it was fun.
i understand the new fashions and all. but come on, who the f**k wears retro clothes with leggings to a freaking house club and better yet, dancing to the music? it is just so salah man. salah is an understatement for it. it is just plan horrendous. not trying to be mean and all but do you go to a rave with that? obviously no. if you are wearing jeans and all i do get it la. but leggings, and trying to dance and top of that trying to look high. i just don't get it. i am not saying that i have the best fashion sense. i don't really follow the fashion industry as it is just too much to bear. every single season there are new styles and more money to be wasted.
anways thanks babe and sunil for taking me out last night. and mr sunil vijayan, i am not an aunty ok. i've passed the phase to party in town anymore. but i do missed the times when i used to. it was fun.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Good-Bye 2006, Welcome 2007
Never have I expected that time would just fly by that quickly. 2006 came with a *bang* and left with a *bang* I've turned 23 last November and this year I'm turning 24. It has been a damn great 2006! Lots of partying and work. I've made new friends that I truly care about.
Did many things last year. Was lucky to go to so many places in Malaysia due to work. To be able to see the beauty in our own country is awesome.
In December we went to Bali for our company trip. Had so much fun there with the bosses. Did alot of shopping. Felt like a milionaires.
*Our first dinner in Bali*
*Charlie's Angels?*
I was lucky enough to have all of them as my colleagues. They are not only the people I work with but also my friends.
Christmas that year could not get any better. Had so much fun working my ass in the kitchen but it was all worth while.
*My bf just could not stop smiling* :-p
New Year's Eve
Went out to Vicenzo for dinner with my bf's extended family. We had such a good time. After the fireworks we headed off to Heritage Row where we clubbed at Cynna with all his cousins. It was a simple but fun night.
Happy New Year to everyone. May this year bring us more $$, happiness and love.
Have a great year ahead peeps.
Did many things last year. Was lucky to go to so many places in Malaysia due to work. To be able to see the beauty in our own country is awesome.
In December we went to Bali for our company trip. Had so much fun there with the bosses. Did alot of shopping. Felt like a milionaires.
*Our first dinner in Bali*
*Charlie's Angels?*
I was lucky enough to have all of them as my colleagues. They are not only the people I work with but also my friends.
Christmas that year could not get any better. Had so much fun working my ass in the kitchen but it was all worth while.
*My bf just could not stop smiling* :-p
New Year's Eve
Went out to Vicenzo for dinner with my bf's extended family. We had such a good time. After the fireworks we headed off to Heritage Row where we clubbed at Cynna with all his cousins. It was a simple but fun night.
Happy New Year to everyone. May this year bring us more $$, happiness and love.
Have a great year ahead peeps.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)