the way i are

i have never realized about the way i am, or my habit. especially not about the way i eat until my colleagues actually pointed it out today. it is strangely funny. it was all about me finishing my lunch first for the first time before them. i have never noticed it. about the way i eat or how i ate it more over how long it took me to finish my food. and they were imitating the way i eat. hahaha. it was funny. i couldn't stop laughing. to think about it, it is true. they would all be done with their food and not me. i am a slow eater. i don't know if it is a good or a bad thing.

they said that i eat slower than the average people and that i tend to separate my food all together even when i am eating the packed nasi lemak. didn't thought of it much when i was doing it. but it's weird when they could imitate the way i eat. hahaha. i need to get a second or more like a fourth opinion, since there was three of them during lunch commenting about the way i eat. i have this thing about food. i love food. so it was so unfair that i have low metabolic rate while others have it high.

i have seen people eating and some of them are quite disgusting. i saw someone when i was young, he/she had food in the mouth and yet i could see them gobbling down another spoonful of food when in fact they have not even swallowed the food that was in their mouth. gosh they just gobbled it up. another thing, i don't really like people chewing out loud, till the point you could hear the rhythm each time the food reaches in their mouth.

so maybe those are the reason why i chew and eat my food slowly. so that the person next to me can barely hear it. and also the fact that i don't like to be known as a lady with no or little table manners. i have always been that way. can't even remember when it started. i think it was due to my dad. he tolerates no such things and was strict when it came to table manners.

a break

monday all over again. thank goodness for the weekend getaway. even though it was only a road trip to seremban. it was peaceful but it could be a little boring at times when there's nothing else to do. all we did was drink, watch movies, gamble, eat and eat. :p. to live in a place whereby civilization is at it's limits can be boring. hahah. but it was all good. felt really good getting away from the normal routine, the city and also the people. would be great if we could have stayed a lil more longer and just laze around the house.

a break much needed by me, i think. to be able to be absolutely lazy and not worry about where should we go next and what should we do or anything else. much like my other weekends but being away from the city feels great. with the moon shinning bright and the stars looking like sparkling diamonds in the sky. awh, so dramatic.

and now i'm back to work. back to slavery day in and day out. how i wish i could just sit back and relax and watch the world go at it. unfortunately, sold my poor little soul to work.

show me the money

when i was young i couldn't wait to be an adult and to earn my own living. and now i am an adult and earning my own living but it seems to be not enough. with everything going up in price and our pay is at it's stand still point. i am not regretting to be an adult. i love it. it's part of a parcel of life. i wouldn't want to be still living under my parents’ money. how weird would that be.

i've always had some savings in my bank. until recently. as if now you see it and the next day you don't; like chipsmore cookies. i had to pay my insurance that was way, way over due. i owe them like a lil over than a thousand. not to forget that i have to pay the damn loan for my education. argh. with the money that i am getting, surviving is just fine. but wanting to save is another problem.

i am trying my best to save. and now taking up driving classes is one of the factor my cash flow is running low. i don't shop often. only once in awhile. but i guess the money goes to the drinking habits, which i've tried to curb as much as i can. i don't go out as often anymore. and yet i still could visualize my money flying away. i don't know why. maybe it's the food. i am very picky person when it comes to food. i don't know. it's tiring to think about it.

i have so many things to get. i need to get a car, i need to get myself a camera, i want a laptop. argh. so frustrating. and something have to give in order to get something. that means it would be a long while before i could afford to get something i really need or want.

at times i wish i was born wealthy. where i do not need to worry about money. or how i am going to pay this and that. or maybe i should just starve myself.

s.i.c.k

it seems as if my energy is being drawn out. feeling absolutely drained out. it seems as if something is taking my energy out of my body. i feel tired and incapable of doing anything.

my nose is itching, not because i'm lack of smoke simply because i am sick. i feel as if i can't breath. i can't stop sneezing. i can't seem to concentrate. i hate being sick. hate being unable to think without the nagging buzz in my brain.

my head is spinning. i feel as if my brain would explode anytime soon. that the veins in my head would pop out at any given time. the nagging buzz can't seems to stop neither it seems to slow down. it is at it's constant speed. a beat per second i think.

can't seem to put my sentence in the perfect nor in it's correct order. who cares. i don't think i do at this point of time.

i wish i could be home at this moment. lying in the comfort bed of mine, in the freezing room that would just make me sleep and forget about everything. but with the rate i'm going now, it will probably take me awhile to snooze off. if only....

mickey mouse undies

have you ever wonder about the people around you? have you ever given them many benefits of doubt that in the end you feel that the only person you’re kidding is yourself. i know I have those thoughts in mind. and till this date i have written many things on it but never once posted it up. maybe because I just didn’t want to hurt their feelings or just maybe i treasure their friendship until now. one thing i knew for certain was that because i didn't want to stoop down to their level. but looking back at it now, i really don’t give two fucks about it anymore. why should I? why should i be nice when i can be mean.

there are many things i don't get it with human. i know someone that does not like a person but yet hangs out with them. goes to their house, drink from their alcohol bottle and has slept in the person house before. maybe the someone is a friend with someone and that's the reason. but i think that someone is after all a user and a cheap person. if they didn't like that person then stop wearing the masks because most of us don't care. it is so hilarious to think that human in general are a smart creature. they are created with a brain but there are many of them out there that do not use them. it said that a human only uses about 10% of their brain capability. what happened to the other 90%? i am not saying that i am smart cause i am not. then again, stand up for your damn ground la. what the hell. if you think you are right stand up for it cause no one gives a shit. you can't take criticism but you could give yours.

i know someone who would just want to go to a free flow or to some party just for the sake of free booze. but come on. you are not students anymore. doesn't it embarrass you in some ways. the facts that you can’t even buy yourself a drink. i know i do. if you're broke and there are friends that would help that's good. but if the excuse is that because it is free booze then it is just lame. in a way you are just a user who would love to take advantage of those who are nice.